THE BUMPTIOUS PIGMY and the CONTEMPTUOUS GIANT
"I was ready to die with shame at having been thus tripped up and exposed before the whole Court. Quite beside myself with rage, I drew my little hanger and made several furious passes at my Master, who took no pains at all to protect himself. Yet I could not so much as pierce his little finger or draw one drop of blood. My Master all the time regarded me with an animated smile, as if wondering what kind of a curious little creature I might be. So in England, I have seen people at a booth regard the antics of a performing flea, wondering to find no much fierceness in an animal so insignificant."—Gulliver's Travels—New version, by SIR WRETCHED PHIBSTER. (The most amusing burlesque ever put before the public.—Opinions of the Press).